Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Sad news...

I took this photo for the IT'S A GIRL post, instead it's going in the SAD NEWS post….

Last week we found out that our little girl had fluid building up around her lungs, so Zac and I met with a specialist bright and early Monday morning for a more extensive ultrasound.  We had no idea what we were in for.  When they told us a week earlier that the pleural effusion could be indicative of more serious issues, the thought of my baby not making it into this world was not one I had considered.  

Once you make it past the first trimester, things are supposed to be fine, right?  



The doctor started off the ultrasound with lots of positives.  Her heart looks great, her measurements are good.  Stomach…check.  Liver…check.

Then on to the other details... She has a club foot.  It was obvious from the ultrasound, we could easily see her foot didn't look right.  Then on to the next one.  That one is club too.

What does this mean?  Will she walk?  Will she have braces?  At that point, I thought that was it.  That was the bad news.  We can deal with physical therapy.  We can deal with physical handicaps.  But oh how sad I was for my little girl!  

Then they moved onto her little arms.  They weren't right, I could see that right away.  Now they were talking more severely.  "Her legs haven't moved in the last hour we've been watching her.  Neither have her arms beyond very small movements in one." 

Zac and I looking over at the doctor, not understanding what all this meant, were still thinking "special needs".  

Then the terms "severe hydrops"…"she has a syndrome"

Like Down's syndrome, you mean?

"No, Down's syndrome has a life expectancy.  What you're looking at is most likely Trisomy 18 (Edward's syndrome).  The mortality rate is 12 months in only 10 percent of babies, but with such extensive hydrops in combination with the Trisomy 18 and so early on..."  

Wait…you're telling us that our baby isn't going to live?

With a very soft, sad smile the doctor confirmed our fear.

Once all this set in, I kept thinking back to the thirty minutes before.  Oh how I wished I could be back where I was mourning the thought of our little girl having severe handicaps.  How terrible I was to be upset then.

The doctor's first question after all the information was laid out was to ask if we wanted to abort.  For our situation that didn't feel right.  I shook my head, no.

How long do we have?  "It could be next week or you could carry her full term.  We'll have more information next week after we watch her to see how quickly her hydrops is progressing."

So much to digest, so many tears.

Over the last two and a half days, I feel such comfort knowing that my little girl will move on to a better place; that she is too special for this earth.  I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to give her a little body and realize that so many don't have this special privilege. 



282 comments:

  1. Oh Natalie, I am so sorry. I can't imagine the heartbreak you and your family must be experiencing. We'll be praying for you all.

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  2. I am so sad thinking about how your heart must be aching. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  4. I'm so very sorry. I will be praying for you, your family, and your special little girl.

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  5. My heart breaks for you and your family and you are in my prayers. May you find strength and peace in this difficult journey you have ahead.

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  6. Prayers are being said for all of you!

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  7. Natalie, I am so sorry to hear this news. As a mother, I can't imagine what you have been thinking and are going through. Accept the support from those who love you and try to stay in good spirits.

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  8. I am sorry about your lost. Your little girl will be in my prayers along with the rest of your family.

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  9. Natalie so sorry for you and your family so many prayers are being sent your way. I admire your faith and strength.

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  10. I am heartbroken for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  11. Prayers for you and your family ~ so sorry for this unimaginable pain you are experiencing.

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  12. So sorry to hear of this heartbreaking news. Wish there were words to make this better :(

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  13. I'm so sorry Natalie - this news is heartbreaking. I have added you to my prayer list, along with your family. Numbers 6:24-26

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  14. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your sad news. You have a great outlook on things and I hope your heart mends sooner then later.

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  15. I have no words. I am so sorry and you, your baby and your family are in my prayers.

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  16. God bless you and your family. You are dealing with a very difficult situation with such grace. Prayers headed your way...

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  17. My heart and prayers are with you. I'm so very sorry.

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  18. I am very sorry to hear your sad news, Natalie. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking this must be for you.

    xx Karen

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  19. I've read your blog many times, but never posted a comment. I am SO VERY SORRY! Cling to your faith and your family for comfort. Cling to the knowledge you have of the plan of salvation and may you and your family find the peace you need. Once again, I am so very sorry!!

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  20. On Natalie, my heart is breaking for you and your family.

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  21. Oh Natalie!
    I am so sorry! There are just not even words. How grateful that you know that this Earth life is a blip on the screen and you will be able to be with her forever!

    I love you! If you need anything please let me know!

    Love your guts
    mandi

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  22. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  23. My heart goes out to you.Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  24. Oh my gosh, oh how bad my heart is aching for you I am so so sorry I cannot even imagine. My prayers are going out to you I am so very sorry.

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  25. I really feel for you and your family. But you are right, and your little girl will always be your little girl. Hugs!

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  26. Beautiful mother, I'm so sorry. Praying that your heart copes, and that your baby girl soars in heaven. All the love in the world to you and your husband.

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  27. We'll be praying for you guys from Alabama. I'm so sorry to hear this news.

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  28. I'm so sorry. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

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  29. Natalie, my heart is breaking for you and your family. Please know that we are all thinking of you. She is lucky to have you as her mommy.

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  30. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you and your family have this trial to face. Your attitude is amazing to me. I will be thinking and praying for you!

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  31. Natalie I am so very sorry. I have no words except to say you and your family are in my prayers. You are a wonderful mom!

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  32. I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family. So very sorry, words just dont even seem right. Lean upon the Lord,as I know you are and have to be

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  33. Hi Natalie,
    A friend of a friend passed on your blog to me. Let me know if I can be of any help, advice, etc. We just had a little girl on Dec 19th and she passed on Christmas Eve. She had Trisomy 13 (much like 18) and the unknown was the worst part - not knowing if I'd make it to term, not knowing how long she'd be here, etc. But it was a journey of growth for me and my whole family as we relied on God for everything. So hard though. I have a blog (thelittlegreenfamily.blogspot.com) but you can also email me at katie.green@yahoo.com if you have any thing you want to ask or just vent.

    Katie Green

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  34. Oh no....I'm so sorry. That really is sad news. I'm sending you some hugs. It's true that your little girl is too special for this earth. I'm sure our Heavenly Father has big plans for her on the other side. Sending my prayers your way.

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  35. I'm so, so, so sorry. No one wants to hear bad news. My sister in law just went through the same exact situation a few months ago. It was difficult, but you're such a strong woman with a beautiful family. Praying for you and your little girl.
    Maria

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  36. Oh no. I'm so, so sorry. I'll be praying for you.

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  37. Oh my word. I don't even know what to say..... I love your attitude. I didn't cry until you talked about being able to give her a body. You are amazing! My prayers are with you and your family.

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  38. Natalie I am so sorry to hear about your baby girl my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones during this difficult time.

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  39. Oh, wow. That is one of the most delicate kinds of tough experiences. I'm so sorry for all of your happy expectations that disappeared so quickly. It sounds like you'll be walking the road of complicated grief. Please consider utilizing a grief counselor for your family through this experience, it can help ever so much! Lots of prayers to support you through this whole phenomenon.

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  40. Ahhh Natty...I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  41. My heart goes out to you and your family Natalie. How lucky your little girl is to have you.

    So very sorry.

    Shari

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  42. Oh Natalie!!!! Please, please, please email me your phone number. melissaeynonjones@gmail.com Andee Rae (our first) had Trisomy 18. Reading your post made me sob! It brought back so many emotions. I remember the day we found out like it was yesterday. I had sooooo many questions, hopes, concerns, fears. Trisomy18.org was my life line for the precious months Heavenly Father blessed me to carry Andee Rae. Love you Nat! You are so strong to realize what a gift your little girl is. I know that I CAN'T WAIT to meet Andee to see what she did in heaven to not have to prove herself on earth!

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  43. I'm so sorry for your sad news. I pray that you and your family will lean on God and feel his comfort and grace.

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  44. Oh Natalie, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  45. I pray for your little one, for her journey to a place where there are no fears, no handicaps.

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  46. Natalie, I'm so sorry to hear this news. It's just heartbreaking. May Heavenly Father give you comfort and peace.

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  47. I'm so sorry to hear your news. My prayers are with you.

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  48. oh wow. there are really no words.

    I'm so so so sorry.

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  49. I am so sorry for all the pain and disappointment you and your family are going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  50. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I cannot even imagine. What a special little spirit that has been sent to you. Although your journey ahead may be long and hard I pray that you may have peace in your heartbreak.

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  51. This is sad news. We just never know what life has in store for us, do we? I hope you will feel peace and comfort through this.

    Much love,
    Lauri

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  52. Oh my gosh Natalie. My heart aches for you and your family. She WILL be in a better place. We are sending love and prayers your way. We are so thankful that our Heavenly Father has prepared a way for her to be in your family forever! We love you!!!!

    Mallory & Savannah
    www.classyclutter.blogspot.com

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  53. Natalie, I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. I had somewhat of a similar experience if you would ever like to talk: sarahmacklem@yahoo.com.
    Hugs, Sarah

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  54. You and your sweet family are in my prayers. You are so right, that sweet girl is SO special and so lucky to have parents to love her as much as you do.

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  55. i am so sorry

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  56. Hi Natalie
    My thoughts are with you and your family. Sending you a huge hug.

    Debra

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  57. Natalie, I am so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now. I don't know if this is helpful at all but I have followed this blog for years and she had the same experience. I don't know if she might be able to be of some comfort to you? http://angiesmithonline.com/

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  58. natalie, i'm so sorry. i hope you find comfort in knowing she was too good for this world, and that you'll be with her for eternity someday. hugs and love and prayers sent your way. xo

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  59. I am so sorry. And, can't imagine what you are going through. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  60. Tears with you and for you all. Like so many of your 'Natty by Design' readers and fans of your artwork, we are no doubt all touched by your saddest news. Prayers coming with this note.

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  61. I am so very sorry to hear the sad news. Our family will pray for your comfort and peace. Please tell Zac sorry for me, I wish I could tell him myself but I'm not on Facebook anymore so this is the only way I know to reach your family. May God bless you all and give you the faith and strength you need at this time.
    With Love,
    Val Marcks and family

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  62. I am so, so sorry. I am sending many prayers and hugs your way.

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  63. Natalie, I am so heartbroken for you and your family. You will all be in my prayers. I'm so so sorry.

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  64. HOLY CRAP! already 63 comments. u are loved.

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  65. Words can't express how very sorry I am for you and your family. I'm glad that you know that your beautiful daughter will be going to a better place. Her Heavenly Father has a plan for her--it's just not for here in this life. You'll be in my prayers.

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  66. hopefully you can feel the love that's coming your way. and even though it's hard to think of anything to say {that will help or comfort} at a time like this, a knowledge of the plan of salvation and eternal families is priceless.

    {your post was so thoughtfully written and sweet. how difficult that must have been.}

    bless your heart, natalie.

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  67. Natalie, my heart is breaking for you. Brandon and I are praying for you guys and sending so much love your way.

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  68. "I hearby command you: Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 Peace to you.

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  69. Natalie, I am so terribly sorry to hear this. I know that these words don't offer any consolation but my thoughts are with you and your family during this time.

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  70. i wish i could provide words of comfort, but i have nothing. please know you and your family will be in my prayers, though.

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  71. Natalie...I am so sorry! You are so right, she is too special for this earth! She will be in good hands!

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  72. Oh Natalie I'm so sorry! I was going to suggest talking to Melissa... but it looks like she already commented on here.

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  73. I am so sorry. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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  74. I am so sorry to hear this news. I wish the best for you and your family.

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  75. Natalie, I am so sorry to hear this. We will pray for you and your family.

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  76. Oh dear, I am so sorry! There are two bloggers that I follow who both experienced the same devastating news with their little girls. Their stories and faith and strength are moving: http://angiesmithonline.com/2008/01/the-beginning-of-the-story/
    and http://raechelmyers.com/category/evie-grace/page/15/
    Thoughts and prayers to you and your family!

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  78. I'm so sorry. Praying for you, your family and especially your baby girl.

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  79. How sad to find out when you're so far along and had no idea anything was wrong. :( But you're right, she'll be moving on to a better place but it still going to hard for you and your family. Hugs and prayers for you all.

    Norma's Kentiques

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  80. I'm so sorry Natalie. I hope you find comfort in your faith. You and your family will all be in my prayers.
    ~natalie

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  81. I am so, so sorry. I know there are no words to make this better, but please know that there is a little family here in Texas loving you and praying for you and your family. My heart is just breaking for you right now.

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  82. I heard the news a couple days ago, I'm so sorry Natalie!! You have been on my mind so much I cant imagine how much your heart is hurting right now. Please let me know If I can help you out in anyway. We are praying for you and your family. We love you!

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  83. I'm a new reader, but I had to post to say I'm so sorry. I have a little girl named Audrey waiting for me in heaven. She passed away at 34 weeks due to an infection. I highly recommend the organization "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep." They provide a professional photographer to take photos of your baby free of charge. I cherish my pictures. I encourage you to look into them and think about as many ways to make memories as possible. I have handprints and footprints, a lock of hair and the clothes she wore after she was born as well as her ashes. I wish I had taken molds of her footprints and handprints too. It won't take away the pain, but it helps to have something to focus on, planning to meet your precious girl.

    Much love and prayers for you and your family.

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  84. I'm so sorry to hear this! You don't know me, but I love your blog! Your post brought back so many emotions. I lost a baby in 2007. She was stillborn. The cause was unknown. She was absolutely perfect. Since then, I have had 2 wild little boys and I still think about her everyday. My heart goes out to you. You are such an example of faith and strength to many. God Bless!

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  85. Tears are welling up in my eyes. I watched my sister go through a similar experience with the loss of her little girl and I wish I had magical comforting words to take it all away, but sadly I don't. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    -Kathryn

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  86. I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine what you must be going through. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  87. I wasn't going to say anything because Im not sure what I should say... I'm sorry Natalie. This is just so sad. Praying for strength for you and your family at this time.

    Sending you virtual ((hugs)).

    Take care my dear.

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  88. My heart is breaking for you. I will be praying for you, your family, and your sweet baby girl.

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  89. There are no words. This is heartbreaking. Natalie, you and your family are in my thoughts.

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  90. Oh Natty, I'm so sorry! There really are no words. I just want to offer you hugs and support over the hard months ahead.

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  91. I admire your attitude and turning to the eternal perspective, even though it still makes it so hard and trying to go through. You and your family, and the beautiful baby growing inside of you are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Much love,
    Shalece

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  92. You will be in my prayers. I don't just say that , please know I will pray for you and your family. The Lord has great plans for your family. This baby girl is part of your story. These are the time that we pray for the peace(from God) that pass all understanding.

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  93. Natalie, you don't know me that well, nor do I know you that well, but I so admire your strength & courage to share this sad news with everyone. Life is so not fair so many times, but God has it all figured out even when we do not. Rest in that. He will dry your tears and ease your fears. I'm so so sorry.

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  94. I am so sorry that you are faced with this trial/experience in life. Heavenly Father knows you and what you are going through. I hope that His love consumes you! May you and your family find peace in the plan of Salvation. You are in my prayers. Hugs from Canada.

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  95. I can not imagine the emotions you must feel, I can only say my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. You have such strength already and I pray the Lord will bring you peace and comfort in the months ahead.

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  96. Such heartbreaking news Natty, I'm so sorry to hear it. Thinking of you and your family...

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  97. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking news with us all Natalie. I am so very sorry to hear what you all are going through. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers. I have admired you and your work for some time and now you have my admiration for the amazing strength and love you show. God Bless.

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  98. So sorry, you and your family in my prayers, sometimes its hard to understand the lord's plans. I am thankful that you have his comfort.
    Blessings to you all.

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  99. So sorry to hear. My heart aches for you. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  100. Oh no, Natalie, I'm so very sorry. I can't even imagine; how heartbreaking. I'm tearing up just thinking about how devastating it must be. Lots of prayers for you and your family.

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  101. So sorry, prayers for you and your family, continue to trust in and love the lord.

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  102. Praying for you and your family tonight. My heart aches.

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  103. So sorry to hear this. Prayers are being sent your way.

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  104. So incredibly sad. Can not even imagine getting your news. So sorry.

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  105. I want to give you a great big hug right now! It was very kind of you to share your story. The important part is that your lovely daughter was conceived. No matter how short her life may be on earth, she will have an eternity in heaven. Sending love to you and your family.

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  106. I am so sorry. I have been following your blog for awhile now and I am just crying for you. I lost my 3 day old daughter 8 weeks ago and it has been quite the journey (hopeforelleryrose.com). I will be praying for you and your precious baby. My thoughts are with your family.

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  107. Oh Natalie! My heart breaks for you and your husband. Your courage in facing your beautiful daughter's situation is an amazing inspiration...God is so good...No matter what, you will one day be able to look back and see the special blessings which you would never have known without going through this. I hope and pray you will have an opportunity to hold her and love her, even if it will only be for a short time. I don't know if I expressed myself well, but I will keep you all in my prayers.

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  108. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May God Bless you and your beautiful family always.

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  109. Stephanie J.February 08, 2012

    I am so sorry. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  110. Natalie - I am so sorry that you and your family is dealing with this and that your little girl is not well. I will be thinking of you all.

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  111. prayers... endless prayers... are heading your way.

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  112. Oh, I am so sorry...May you find comfort and peace...

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  113. Sweet Natalie. I enjoy reading your blog very much and I enjoy your personality. I have lost 4 pregnancies. Nothing to extent of your situation but I mourn with you. I pray that you have strength and tender mercies around you and your husband at this time. Hang in there.

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  114. I am touched by your incredibly brave post today. I experienced an early miscarriage just last week, so I feel your heartache. Heavenly father has amazing plans for your sweet baby girl up in heaven! Fill your heart with love during this time, and please know that you always have those who want to listen, and want to reach out! You are loved! Many prayers!

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  115. The G-d I serve is big enough to mend sweet little broken bodies, here or when they cross over...I will never EVER cease to hope and pray that it is here. My prayers are with you and your family...have faith and never give up HOPE!

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  116. The amount of courage you have to post about something so serious and hear breaking, is unbelievable. I sure this story is helping some one else know, they're not alone.

    My prayers are with you and you're family.

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  117. Oh Natalie, my heart is hurting for you guys. I'm so, so sorry for your news. But I'm impressed with your attitude and approach. Thank you for sharing with us. I know that was hard to do. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you to find comfort in everything.

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  118. First I want to say I am so sorry to hear this. But as rare as this is beleive it or not I was in your exact situation. At 28 weeks I had a 4D ultra sound done and they said my daughter had fluid in her chest cavity and sent us to a bigger hospital. While at that hospital they told us there was nothing they could do but that there were 3 doctors in the U.S that can do a procedure that may help. One happened to be at Universty of Michigan hospital about 7 hrs from our home so we went there. The docotor there told us about a procedure where they would place a piggy tail shunt thru the babies chest and drain the fluid. The next day he did the procedure. The following day they did an ultra sound to check it. Unfortanitly she was so hydropic that the shunt went right thru her chest. I was so upset. The doctor wanted to try again so we did with the same end result. I never lost hope. He decided to try and get a larger shunt from Europe that was not FDA approve in the U.S yet. 2 days later they were able to get it and it WORKED. 2 days after that she was born. 4 lbs 14 inches. She was in the nicu because the fluid on one side would not stop leaking. They ended up doing a pleurectomy procedure. This also worked. She was in the nicu for 7 weeks with lots of ups and downs but came thru it all. The reason I'm telling you all this is to let you know there is always hope. Chloe Lynn is now 5 years old and doing well. I am going to pray for you because I believe all the prayers for her is what got her thru it all. If you have any questions about options and doctors please feel free to email me. llynnwalker1980@hotmail.com

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  119. Blessings and peace to you and your husband.

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  120. As I read your post I was reminded of how lucky this little girl is to have found such a warm heart and loving open arms, even if only for a short time.

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  121. I just stumbled upon your blog from Pinterest today and saw your heartbreaking post. Prayers for you and your family.

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  122. I just found your blog and I need to tell you how very sorry I am for you and your family. My heart is aching for you. We lost our 16 year old daughter in a car accident 10 years ago and so many strangers sent their prayers...
    that's what helped me. Just know many will have you in their thoughts and prayers.

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  123. I'm so sorry. I truly admire your strength and grace as you are handling this. My prayers are with you and your family. She is so blessed to have been sent to you.

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  124. Oh Natalie, I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news. My heart breaks for you... I feel like I know you. I have followed you on Pinterest and read and loved your blog for ages now and you have inspired me tremendously!!! I don't know how I can thank you enough but I can and will pray for you, your family and your precious little girl... Love, hugs and prayers, Jacinta Patmore. xxx

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  125. My prayers are with you and your family and most of all for your baby. Though there maybe many questions of why God knows best and all things work together for good.

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  126. Your last 2 sentences are so full of God's grace. They took my breath away. I will pray for your little angel, and for you and your husband. I am so sorry.

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  127. You're in our thoughts and prayers. We've been thinking about you all day.

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  128. Natalie, big hugs to you and your family. Your post is inspiring and heartwarming. Your baby girl is lucky to have you as a mom.

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  129. Oh, Natalie. I am just heartbroken for you and your family. I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. Praying for you guys.

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  130. I am so so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  131. I am so sorry. Wish you the strength to carry little girl with love for as long as she needs.

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  132. Praying for you, your husband, and your little girl. You are right she will be in a better place and waiting for you someday. I know you don't understand why this is happening, but hopefully someday you will.

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  133. So sorry to hear this news, will be praying for you and your family. While our sister was going through this trial recently, we sent her a Selah CD with the song "I will carry you". I think you would appreciate the words during a time like this as she did too.

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  134. Oh Natalie, my heart is broken for you. How brave you are to deal with this with such grace and dignity, praying for you, your family, and your sweet baby girl.
    xo
    Kate

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  135. Oh gosh, Natalie. I'm so, so very sorry. Your sweet little girl.

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  136. Natalie and Zac:
    I'm so sorry. I wish we still lived close and could comfort you in any way. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  137. I'm so sorry....that is very difficult to come to terms with....

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  138. Oh Natty. I'm so sorry. We lost a baby in September. I never realized how hard a miscarriage was until I'd gone through it. My heart goes out to you. We'll keep you in our prayers. I'm impressed by your great attitude.

    A friend recently told me about a foundation that takes pictures for mothers like you, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Here's the link if you'd like to check it out. http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

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  139. I'm so sorry to hear your news, Natalie. My heart goes out to you. I have been in your same position and I know that heart ache. It's horrible and I wish so badly that you didn't have to experience it. I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father's plan and temple marriages. Isn't it wonderful to know that we will all be given a chance to raise our healthy, beautiful children if not now, than later. I know that you were a wonderful friend growing up and I am sure you are an even better mother to your sweet children. I've always loved your testimony. Thank you for the update. You and your family will be in our prayers. Much love, Jennifer

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  140. I'm very sorry to hear your news. I want you to know I will be praying for you and your family.

    Jennifer Roe

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  141. Natalie I don't know you personally but I know your pain as I too lost a baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family while you are coping with a heartbreaking situation. God Bless, Peggy

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  142. Natalie, I am so, so sorry. Reading your post took me back 8years when we had a very similiar conversation with our perinotologist. Our son Ryan was dx interuterine with a cystic hygroma, a fluid filled sac that enveloped his entire brain and head. We were informed that when the baby is a boy and this occurs that they would be born with Down Syndrome. If he were to be born at all. I was 12 weeks along at this time and the doc said that there would be a 97% chance of fetal demise by week 20. The hygroma would eventually take over the body and he would not be able to survive. Oh how we prayed for this little boy to make it. Down Sydrome or not we just wanted to meet him. By week 25 the doc was stunned at the regression of the hygroma and by week 30 there was no signs of it left. They gave us no hope at week 12 and now he is a more than energetic, adorable 8 year old. I believe the power of prayer is the most amazing gift we have been given. Our experience, my pregnancy specifically, has changed me so much for the better. I had to go to the doc every week since week 12 just to see if there was a heartbeat. The most difficult thing a mom can go through. It made me stronger, more aware of life and more sensitive to the needs of others. Your little girl has a huge purpose in God's eyes. Your experience, your actions during this experience and the effect you have on others is part of His plan. I pray you get to meet your little girl, I pray she has an amazing impact on you, your family and everyone who is blessed to meet her. And I pray you and your husband find peace in the news you were given. The sun does come up again and when it does it shines so much brighter.

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  143. Hi, Natty

    I am praying for you and your family.

    Vanessa

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  144. Natalie, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I have no words, as they all seem trite and weak. Just know that you are in my prayers, and I wish you strength in the days ahead.

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  145. Praying for you and your unborn little girl.

    A good friend of mine had a very similar situation if you want I could forward you her emaill. She's very open to talk.

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  146. Dear sweet Natalie, I'm sorry to hear this news, may the thoughts and prayers of many bring you strength and comfort during this most difficult time. Your life and love for your family have been shown to all of us through your wonderful blog, I hope that comments from your readers touch your spirit as much as you haved touched ours. May the Lord bless you and and your precious family.

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  147. "she is too special for this earth." Exactly right. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  148. oh natalie, i am so so sorry. i hopped over from amy at the salvage collection who told me you needed prayers, and you've got them... thinking of you and your family.

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  149. I see an overwhelming amount of folks who pass your little sweetie off as 'gone' already...but she is still very much alive and there is yet another day to HOPE. There are many stories of miracles where G-d's Hand intervenes and changes things...NEVER give up hope! Hope is that quintessential driving force in life that all else is hinged on. I will pray for a miracle for your precious daughter.

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  150. Seriously Natalie, my heart breaks for you. I hope you can find some peace through this trial.

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  151. oh my goodness I am so sorry...I know words will not be enough to heal your pain but know that I am thinking and praying for you and your familly

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  152. Natalie, I'm sorry you're walking this road, because it is a journey, and it never quite ends, the scenery just changes. It's been almost two years to the day (funny how some dates just stick with you) that I went in to find out boy or girl, and came away with much much more information. See, my little guy has T18 as well. He'll be 20 months old on Feb 13th. My aunt sent my your blog post this morning. We have an extensive online community that can offer help and support and sometimes just a safe way to vent those overwhelming emotions. There is also an active advocacy group that can help with info.

    That said, as a group, we firmly believe that it is each parent's right and responsibility to know what their child needs. Some children need an aggressive, full court press and lots of interventions, because they are supposed to stay for a while. Others only need their body, and a loving, warm family to hold them as they return to heaven. We try to provide the support for whichever one (or something in between) that parents want. I'll send you my info in an email. Please contact me anytime.

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  153. I have only recently found your blog and this is my first time commenting. I just wanted to tell you how sad I am for this news for you and your husband. I will be praying for y'all and that sweet baby girl.

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  154. this is my first time commenting on your blog as i am a realtivly new reader, but i felt the desire to share with you in your pain and heartbeak and tell you that i am asking God to comfort you in this very sad time.

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  155. My heart is breaking for you and your family. Rest assured that whenever the Lord decides he wants her back she will be dancing and healed. Until then, you get to provide her with the best earthly home ever - YOU!

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  156. I'm so sorry. Praying for your family and especially your sweetpea.

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  157. I am so so sorry about the heartbreaking news. :( I can't imagine the pain you must be going through.

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  158. I'm so sad to hear this news, you are in my thoughts an prayers! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

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  159. My heart just aches for you and your family. Nothing can quite prepare you for news like this. We found out at 27 weeks that our 4th child had a critical heart defect, severe hydrops, and had a less than 1% chance of survival. Through months of miraculous events our little guy survived and is now a crazy two year old, though he still has many health challenges and will continue to need heart surgery throughout his life. I'm not trying to give you false hope that your sweet child will be here on the earth with you, but there is always hope through our knowledge of a loving Father in Heaven and His plan for us. I'll be praying for comfort and peace for you and your family. You guys must be a pretty amazing family.

    www.sweetheartmaddox.blogspot.com

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  160. Such heartbreaking news. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will pray that God will surround you and your family with Angels during this very hard time.

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  161. Words nor my tears can express how sorry I am that this has happened to your tiny, little girl.

    I will be praying for her, for you, and for your family.

    So much love,
    xo

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  162. Natalie, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  163. I'm so, so sorry to hear this. I'm holding back tears at work. Kind thoughts for you today.

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  164. Sending love and prayers. Thank you for sharing your faith.

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  165. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  166. Natalie:
    I am so, so sorry for you and your family. I lost a baby in November to an umbilical cord accident - 27 weeks. You are right, after having other healthy pregnancies and children, and getting past the first trimester, we feel "home free."
    I am saying extra prayers for you and your baby that God will wrap his arms around you both.

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  167. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry and sad to hear this sad news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I admire your strength during this difficult time.

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  168. Praying for your precious little girl in Minnesota.

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  169. My heart is broken for your and your family. Lots of prayers.

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  170. Oh Natty! I sit here and weep with you. I'll pray for comfort and strength for you, your husband, and sweet children.
    Hugs~ Kim @ Sand & Sisal

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  171. I am so sorry to hear this news. You and your family are in my prayers. God will comfort you and give you a peace that passes understanding.

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  172. Natty, I felt such sorrow when I read your post today (having lost two babies prematurely). But know this, GOD loves your little girl even more than you do, and he has plans for her (and you). Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." Now is the time to let our loving Heavenly Father comfort you like no one else can by staying in His Word and soaking in the prayers of others. I am praying for you and your little girl (and your entire family). Love in Christ, Vickey.

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  173. What a heartbreaking situation. My heart aches for your little girl. I'll be praying for your whole family!!

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  174. Oh my gosh, I have tears about to come out of my eyes. This whole time I have been so jealous of your pregnancy, b/c we have been having fertility problems for a couple years. But never in my life would I wish losing a child on anyone. I am so glad that God has given you the chance to grow this sweet child, he must have known how special you and your family are. I wish you all the best in what is yet to come. Thank you for sharing these sensitive moments in your life with all of us.

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  175. My stomach is in knots and my heart is tight. I'm so sorry to hear this news. With my last pregnancy there was an early sign that brought about worries of T18. I remember the overwhelming confusion and fear that the baby would most likely not take a breath from this life. I'm so thankful you have your faith, and so sorry you are having to work through this grief. You and your family are in my prayers. (PS. there is a T18 Foundation).

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  176. I'm sorry Natalie. You seems to blessed with a strong husband a wonderful family and support system...not to mention your blogger friends:)) Lean on everyone for support and know that we truly care about you and your baby and pray for the best.

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  177. no words can convey the heartbreak that i feel for you. i have never met you but i am a mom and, as a mom, i can imagine what i would be going through if i was in your shoes. i am a christian and believe that things happen for a reason and that god never wastes a hurt. my god is a god of comfort so i hope that, even though they will not change your circumstances, these verses can be a comfort in your time of grief.
    Psalm 34:18
    The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
    Matthew 11:28
    Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
    praying for peace and comfort for you all.

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  178. Natalie, this is any parent's worst nightmare, and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't know how you're holding it together, but I wish you and your husband a blanket of peace only the Lord can provide. And wisdon for your doctors in guiding you through this with the utmost of respect and care. Please keep us posted.

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  179. Natalie...I don't have words to express how sorry I am for you and your family. You are all in my thoughts and prays. You are truly blessed to have so a wonderful family and you can take comfort in knowing your little angel was loved so much and that she will be waiting on the other side for you one day. Again, I cannot even find words to say to you. I cannot imagine the pain you feel as a mother but you have many people out here praying for you and your whole family.

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  180. I am so very sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Somehow,words don't seem to be enough to convey how I feel for you and your hubby. But God knows how you feels. Praying for you.

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  181. Dear Natalie and family ~
    I along with so many will be praying for all of you! I know there are no "magic" words....I will simply pray that Jesus holds you and your little girl, your husband and your other beautiful children close as you walk out this journey. He will never leave you or forsake you....
    Love in Jesus ~
    Linda

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  182. Natalie I am so sorry about this news. I read about Trisomy 18 and found this, thought that I would share. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    "A small number of adults (usually girls) with Trisomy 18 have and are living into their twenties and thirties, although with significant developmental delays that do not allow them to live independantly without assisted caregiving."

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  183. Oh Natalie... I am so very very sorry. My heart broke reading this. You and your sweet family are in my prayers. What a great comfort it is to know you will see her again. Hugs.

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  184. So, so sad. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

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  185. I am so sorry to hear your very sad news and trust you will get the support you and your family needs during this time. Janell

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  186. so sorry to hear this, Natalie. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I can't imagine being in your shoes. Prayers and love coming your way.

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  187. Oh my goodness. Thank you for sharing your story with us, so that we too can continue to pray with you and your family. Hugs...

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  188. Sending many positive prayers to you and your family.

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  189. I am so sorry to hear this news. You and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this difficult time with your readers. It may help someone else out there in dealing with their grief.

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  190. Natalie-I am praying for a miracle. I pray that God will allow you to come through this and know that He is carrying each one of you in His hands. ALso know that you have a huge number of people praying for you!

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  191. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. This is so hard for you and your family at this time. I have shed many a tear for you.
    Unfortunately I fully understand what you are going to be heading into. My heart goes out to you. You will be in my thoughts forever. We belong to a club that no one wants to belong to. Sorry.

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  192. Wow, thanks for sharing such a special post. Heavenly Father will give you courage & understanding to go on. Wishing you & your family peace, love, comfort at this time.

    Vicky T.

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  193. Oh Natty! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Let your faith and your love for one another and for your little girl guide you through.

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  194. I am so sorry and truly do NOT have the words you will need. I can only tell you that I am one of thousands praying for you and your family. I pray for the "peace that passeth all understanding" to remain constant and evident. I found your story through The Salvage Collection. Love, Me www.youaretalkingtoomuch.com

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