I thought I'd drop in with a little update on the baby. She's still here. I'm still here. We're still here. :)
It's been about six weeks since we found out she had a one percent chance of survival, but she's still plugging along. I had an amniocentesis a few weeks ago to confirm the Trisomy 18 diagnosis, but the results came back negative for any chromosomal defects. The doctors were surprised and stunted and I was ecstatic, thinking this meant she might make it. I went along thinking this for a week, until one sweet doctor had the courage to tell me that wasn't likely to happen.
I don't envy their job. It would be so difficult to deliver bad news to hopeful parents. We hear things from many different doctors and most seem to skirt around the truth enough that I'm left feeling confused with a false sense of hope. I think it takes a truly gifted doctor to be able to give it to you straight, while still being sensitive.
The hardest part through this all, is that I have connected with my baby over the last six weeks with such increased intensity. When you wonder if each day will be the last, it's hard to think of much else. Most of the time I'm able to feel peace in the knowledge that however things turn out, I'll be with her again, but other days I'm just plain old sad.
I sincerely appreciate the continued thoughts and prayers during such a difficult time.